Ridiculous....

There are so many things in the news right now...pop culture wise...that are infuriating me. Now I may have some of the specifics wrong...but I am pretty close......

Nicole Richie. Served 82 minutes in jail for DUI.
Lindsey Lohan. Sentenced to one day in jail for her second DUI and cocaine possession.
Vick. Pleading guilty in a plea bargain for dog-fighting charges.
Bettis. Faked his injury.
And don't even get me started on Britney Spears.

Please.

Let's say...hypothetically...that I got pulled over in Spring Lake at 2am on a Saturday. I have just left the American Legion. I have had several drinks, and certainly have no business driving. Oh, and I also have cocaine in my glove compartment. After miserably failing my sobriety test, and after the officer has placed the suspicious white powder on the hood of my car, I would be cuffed and immediately transported to jail. I would not get into another car with my chauffuer. I would not call my agent. I would go to jail. I would be fingerprinted, booked, humiliated, and would spend a sleepness night in the drunk tank.
After sobering up, I would lose my driver's license for at least several months. No doubt, I would be convicted of a drug possession charge (even though it was my first offense). I would be sentenced to jail time, with leniency coming in the form of time served for my night in the drunk tank. When my employer gets wind of this, I would be fired. No questions asked. After all, my salary is paid by taxpayer dollars. I am a school teacher. A role model for young people. My family would also be deeply humiliated. I am pretty sure I wouldn't be asked to teach religious education or bible school any more. My position in my church choir would be compromised (not many people would want a convicted felon singing a solo at his or her wedding).

Now....I ask you....why should this be any different for someone who has a larger paycheck than I?? For someone who is in the public eye more than I?? It is absolutely ludicrous. Pathetic. Ridiculous.

Come on people. If we have a truly fair justice system (that's another post), then all convicted persons should be treated the same way for the same conviction. Or am I missing something here?

I am nauseated by the celebrity of people like Paris Hilton who makes a living by just being famous. For what? Her father's wealth? Certainly not for anything she has done that is worthwhile. Just for her pedigre.

Let's stop putting these celebrities on a pedestal. They certainly don't deserve it.

Seeks has spoken.

I just read my good friend Traci's blog...and it made me pause. She is so right. I have spent my life amid the same circumstances. Overweight. Looking out for others over myself. Focusing on the wrong things. I need to refocus. But I have to be honest...
I am wowed by Traci's candor and by her ability to hone in on what she needs to do. I am disappointed by my own ability to make changes in my life. I am not a stupid person. I know what it is I need to do. There are many changes worth making. I would go so far as to say there are many changes that are now necessary to make....imperative to make....
I had someone come up to me at a church brunch this weekend, and she crouched next to my chair. Giddily, she took my hand and said she didn't know I was expecting...how exciting....Well...I am not expecting. I am overweight. Now, my first reaction was to want to cry (how mortifying!). My second reaction was disbelief (how could a woman....also very overweight...ask me such a question!?). My final reaction was shame. There are so many words that came to my mind to describe myself. Disgusting. Fat. Ugly. I look in the mirror every day. While in the bathroom, I see myself from the chest up. I don't see what other people see. I know I am overweight, but I don't see the extent of it. That is a problem. I must be in denial. I must not know how bad it really is. Not until I see a picture, that is. That makes it real. That makes it stick.
My problem is I don't make the changes. I don't know why. I don't want to look like this. I don't want to be embarrassed by others' looks or comments. I don't want to embarrass my family or friends when I am with them.
I know who I want to be. I want to be the person I think I see in the mirror. I want to be the person on the outside who exemplifies the qualities I know I possess on the inside. Why can't I do it??? That is my frustration. I need help. That's the only thing I can come up with at this point. If I don't get it, I don't know what will happen to me.

Seeks has spoken.

A class act.

Time.....
It goes by.

I logged on to my blog today and was astonished to find I had not posted in over a month. Whoops! Life happens.

And so many things have happened.
Foremost in my mind is the Virginia Tech massacre. I cannot imagine having so much sadness and confusion in my life that the only way I felt I could remedy my problems would be to carry out murder and suicide. Suicide has never made since to me. People talk about it as a way to solve their problems. But I don't buy that. I think it is cowardly and a cop out. A cry for help? Yes. A solution to a problem? No.

The only good that can come from a situation such as this is that it forces us to take a closer look at our lives and the lives of those around us. I walk in to my classroom every day and wonder what those young people have going on outside of school. It makes me realize that I need to carefully pay attention to them -- heed every word, look, and action. Watch carefully, be available for them, care about them. For some, school is the only place these children receive a "hello", a hot meal, a caring word, a safe place to be. Isn't that unfortunate? But it makes my job all the more important. It is difficult to be in a profession in which I constantly have to defend myself to the public. It seems that what teachers do is never "good enough" -- or "enough" for that matter. I have heard it all -- "Those who can, do. Those who don't, teach." "Must be nice to only have to work 9 months a year." "All teachers do is complain about how much money the make." I will never complain about my job. I chose it. It is what I have always wanted to do and I love it. Is it always easy? No. But I knew that going in. Does it always seem fair? No. But what is? Do I get all the support I would like? No. But it only makes me work harder with what I have.

There are very few people in this world who could not look back on their school years and think of just one teacher who made an impact on his or her life. Think about it. One. Just one. There are probably more. I remember the school secretary who greeted me with a smile every morning. The band director who pushed me to try new instruments in high school. The English teacher who "snapped" when he liked my writing. The math teacher who stayed after school with me until I finally understood derivatives. The counselor with an open door. The coach who told me he appreciated my hard work. It is my hope that I can be that teacher for just one student in each of my classes. My emotional attachment to my students is my strength and my weakness as a teacher. I allow myself to invest all of myself in to my students. That is a blessing and a curse. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the hugs I get. I love it when a high school sophomore writes "I <3 Mrs V" on my white board. I love it when a student leaves me a sticky note on my computer. I love having students in my room after school to do homework, play cards, or just talk. And I love connecting with students academically. I love hearing "This is a great book!" or "I didn't think I would like Romeo and Juliet, but it it pretty cool." And the best thing? The thing I love hearing the most?

"Thanks, Mrs. V."

That's what it is all about.

Seeks has spoken.

I never knew!

..that I'd be missed, that is!
Thanks, Traci...for the kick in the pants to post something.

The reason I am able, though, is because I am home sick today with this upper-respiratory crud that seems to be infecting pretty much everyone in the Midwest lately. Oh well...that is why we have sick days, my friend.

Life has gotten back to normal (whatever that means) since the death of my father-in-law. As I said before, the whole experience brought so much in to focus. I tend to walk through my life "sweating the small stuff." Little things, seemingly inconsequential, tend to irritate me. That goes for things my kids do, my husband does, and my mother does. Lucky for me, I have been able to step back and take a good long look at my life and what is in it. I had a "date" with my dad the other night. We sat at Old Boys Brewhouse, had a couple drinks, and shared a nice long (overdue) talk. What I have come to realize in recent years is that I am more like my dad than my mother in a lot of ways. Not that I don't admire and love my mother, but many of you reading this know that our relationship has had its moments to say the least. I do not blame my mother for anything going on in my life, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that she has contributed much...positively and negatively.

My dad and I discussed many issues. My weight being one of them. I talk a great talk. I know what I need to do to be healthier. Hey, I'm a smart woman....I'm no idiot...I eat too much and don't exercise enough. I know what I should eat and shouldn't. Why don't I just do it? That is what my dad wanted to know. The funny thing is, I can't answer that question. It isn't a matter of wanting to be fat, because of course I don't. I just can't figure out why I don't do the right things. What is intersting to me, is the fact that when other people (read: my mom) aren't pressuring me about my weight, I tend to do very well. As soon as someone bothers me or pressures me, it is as if I feel the need to back off. Why the hell is that??? I wish I knew. And if one of you DOES know, please fill me in. The best explanation my dad and I could come up with is that my mom tries (very hard) to control my life (and others). When she "steps in" and tries to "help" I feel the need to exert my own control in the opposite direction she is attempting to lead me. That makes sense. But I hate that explanation because it gives to much credit or responsibility to my mom. And let's face it...it is up to me and only me to make the right choices in my life.

What I need to do now, is take control and do what is best for me.

Seeks has spoken.

Love is in the air....

Valentine's Day.
It is a holiday said to have it's origins long ago stemming from a man named Valentine who married young couples illegally. You see, Roman emporers had outlawed marriage in an attempt to lure the youngest, strongest men to fight in their war. Valentine gave young couples the marriages they desired. Love prevailed!
In later years, Valentine (who is also said to have had the ability to heal) wrote a note to a woman named Julia. He had cured her blindness and had fallen in love with her. The note was signed "From your Valentine."
Thus, a tradition was begun.
Valentine was executed on February 14.
He was made a Saint.
Our holiday, Valentine's Day, stems from Valentine's desire to let love prevail.

My family has faced many adversities the past several weeks. I think about my sweet mother-in-law, Kathy, sitting at home tonight. It is her first holiday with out her "valentine." I cannot imagine what she is thinking and feeling, but this has given me reason to reflect on my own loves. I have family and friends whom I love very much. There are people in this world who spend their days alone...alone in a sense we cannot even begin to fathom in our very rich lives. I get upset because my husband is working on Valentine's night. What I should be doing is counting my blessings because I have a husband who loves me and he has a job that helps support our wonderful family. I get irritated with my mother who gets more involved in my life than I would like at times. What I should be doing is thanking God that my mother and father are both alive and healthy, and that they live nearby and would do anything for me. I get annoyed when my children whine, but what I should do is take them in my arms, hug them, tell them I love them, and treasure every moment I have with them.

Live is transient. It is not permanent. My life is rich. I may not have a big bank account. I don't drive a fancy car or live on the lake. I don't carry a designer purse or wear expensive clothes. But I tell you what....I have more than most people in this world.

For that, I am eternally grateful.

Seeks has spoken.

Outside the snow is fallin' . . .

Faith is believing all power can't be seen.
Thank you, Josh Groban! I have come to believe so many things in these past several days. My father-in-law, Ray VanderHoek, passed away January 29. There were many times we did not see eye-to-eye. His conservative Christian-Reformed background did not always gel with my liberal views. He "flew by the seat of his pants" while I live by planners, calendars, and sticky notes. He was a creative soul, able to see something out of nothing, while I like predictabily. Like I said, Ray sometimes drove me crazy but one thing is certain: I learned so much about life from this man in the last twelve years. . . and it was not until the last twelve days that I become truly cognizant of it.
On his death bed, Ray voiced his faith with the clarity many of us will never experience. He faced death without fear, and with an excitement and anticipation that we are taught to have. His physical body was failing him by the moment, but his spiritual self was at its peak. In days when we family members were at his side to give him comfort, it was Ray who was providing us with the strength to cope with our loss.
Ray, thank you for all you taught this stubborn girl. Thank you for making your son what he is today - a loving, caring, affectionate husband and father; a skilled builder, repairman, and woodworker; an unselfish friend. You will remain in my heart forever.

Seeks has spoken.

Welcome

Well..I have welcomed myself to the world of blogging!
Traci, Amy, and Abby have led the way for me. Why not join in? I always was the follower of the crew! ha ha!
I will use this place to inform the world about all my soon-to-be-famous insights on a variety of topics. Writing has always been a passion...and now that I am an English teacher, it is literally a way of life.
So...sit back, click on, and enjoy! I welcome you to my blog!